


Window to the Soul

by Spunkybob5



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad First Date, Castiel Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Has Self-Esteem Issues, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mechanic Dean, Professor Castiel, Protective Balthazar, Soulmates, Supportive Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 14:01:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8016829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spunkybob5/pseuds/Spunkybob5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel may be soulmates, but can they get past their crappy first date?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Window to the Soul

“There is no freaking way this pompous, boring egghead is my soulmate, Sam!” Dean ran his fingers through his hair for the millionth time. “It’s like a bad joke.”

“C’mon, Dean,” Sam answered, endlessly patient. “He can’t be all bad.”

Dean pulled the phone from his ear and stared incredulously at Sam, not caring that Sam couldn’t actually see him, “Dude. He has a doctorate in ancient religious studies. _Ancient religious studies_ , Sam. I didn’t even know that was a thing.”

“Were you rude about it?”

Dean snorted, “What kind of question is that?”

Sam didn’t back down, “A valid one.”

Dean shifted, then opened the fridge for a beer, “I might have said something that could be misconstrued as rude…”

“Dean…”

“What? It’s not like Mr. Fancy Pants was going to be impressed with my job as a grease monkey. He spends all his time pursuing ‘adventures of a literary nature.’”

“Dean - ”

“Oh, and speaking of fancy pants, did I tell you he wore a suit to the bar? A suit, Sam. And a damn trench coat. Who does that?”

“Dean!”

“What?”

Sam sighed, “I’m going to skip past all the ways you’re being an idiot right now and move on to the important questions. You’re trying pretty hard to convince me this guy isn’t your soulmate. Why?”

Dean picked at the label on his beer bottle, “I just…OK, you know how my soul looked with Lisa? And then with Benny?”

“Sure. It was tinted gold.”

“Right,” Dean nodded. “So I figured, you know, it would be like that. Gold-ish. Like…the regular white of my soul was just warmed up.”

“And it wasn’t?” Sam asked.

“No. It was like the sun was shining out of me,” Dean traced his fingertip over the patch of translucent skin on his forearm. His window to his soul. “And it hasn’t stopped, Sam. I mean, it’s not as bright, but it’s still a deep gold.”

“I’m not sure what the problem is,” Sam said.

Dean scrubbed his hand over his face, “Whenever I wasn’t around Lisa or Benny, the color faded, and my soul went back to being white. But with this guy…I dunno. It’s like I’m changed forever. Like my soul can never go back to what it was before.”

“And that bothers you.”

“No, it doesn’t bother me. It scares the living hell out of me, Sam! If I need him this badly, if the change is so deep that my soul actually looks different…” Dean trailed off.

“What, Dean?”

Dean’s voice dropped to a whisper, “How will I survive it when he leaves me?”

The brothers were both quiet for a long time.

“You need to call him, Dean. Call him and apologize for being an ass, because I know you were, and _then tell him why you’re afraid_. If anyone in the entire world is going to understand, it’s your soulmate.”

Dean swallowed hard, “I know, Sam. You’re right. I will. Thanks.”

“Anytime. Hey, what’s his name again?”

“Castiel.”

***

“He is an arrogant, foolish jerk. He cannot possibly be my soulmate, Balthazar,” Castiel took a long sip of coffee before deciding it needed some Irish Cream. “We have nothing in common.”

“Oh, don’t be dramatic, Cassie. It can’t be that bad,” Balthazar soothed.

“It’s worse,” Castiel moaned, shifting the phone to the other ear while he cracked open the liquor. “He completely disrespected my job, he flirted with the waitress, he – “

“He what?”

“He looked like he couldn’t wait for the evening to end so he could leave,” Castiel finished miserably, taking another sip of his coffee.

“And how did you behave?”

Castiel narrowed his eyes, “What do you mean?”

“Castiel, you and I have defended our careers long enough that one snide comment is hardly enough to be this upset. You’re overcompensating for something.”

Castiel sighed, “I may have implied that mechanics is for people who don’t know how to think.”

“Oh, Cassie. Shame on you.”

“I was so nervous, Balthazar! And he just pushed all my buttons. It just tumbled out,” Castiel sank into a chair, clutching his warm mug. “Now he probably hates me.”

“I’m sure all is not lost,” Balthazar answered. “Are you certain this man is your soulmate?”

Castiel set down his mug and pushed up his sleeve, revealing the small window to his soul. He hardly needed to, though; the glow was still brighter than he’d ever seen, even without Dean in the room, “I’m certain. It was so bright, it shown even through my trench coat.”

Balthazar whistled, “What color?”

“Gold. Like pure sunlight. And it’s stayed gold. It hasn’t faded. Just dimmed a little.”

“Well, that’s quite a change, isn’t it?”

Castiel nodded, despite Balthazar not actually being able to see it. His soul had always burned brightly, a white so pure it often appeared blue, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about this new color. It looked right, though, the golden light brightening his skin. It fit.

“Castiel, are you listening to me?”

“Yes, of course, sorry.”

Balthazar sighed dramatically, “Cassie, I know you are nervous about allowing someone into your life.”

“I’m not – “

“Yes, you are. Don’t try to deny it.”

“All right, I am. I don’t know how to be with other people. What if he thinks I’m boring, or I don’t know…”

“Don’t know what?”

Castiel swallowed, forcing his eyes from his vibrant soul, “What if I don’t know how to love him? Or take care of him?”

There was silence on the other end of the line, and Castiel immediately regretted burdening his friend in this way.

“Cassie, you will not have that problem.”

“How do you know?” Castiel hated how small his voice sounded, but he couldn’t help it.

“Because I do,” Balthazar answered just as softly. He cleared his throat. “Now. You are going to call this man, this Dean fellow, apologize for your behavior, and explain yourself to him. He’s obviously your soulmate. He will understand.”

Castiel stared at the dregs of his coffee, “I’m going to need more Irish Cream first.”

“That’s the spirit!”

***

Dean sat at his kitchen table, a mostly empty beer bottle beside him, flipping his phone over in his hands. The smooth screen flashed at every turn, reflecting the light of his newly golden soul. Neither the light nor the beer did anything to ease the ache in his gut.

He’d hung up with Sam 2o minutes earlier and hadn’t moved from the spot. He felt frozen, as if making this call to Castiel would change everything, and he just wasn’t sure he was ready.

The light flashed again.

 _That’s the thing, isn’t it? I’m already changed. I can’t ignore it. I can’t go back._ Dean grinned to himself, remembering the bear hunt game he played with Sam. _Can’t go under it. Can’t go over it. Gotta go through it._

Dean swiped on his screen, scrolled through his contacts, and hit dial.

He answered on the first ring, “Dean.”

Dean hadn’t expected the heartbreak in Castiel’s voice, “Hey, Cas. I’m just calling…”

“I’m very glad you did.”

There was silence for a moment, then both men spoke at once.

“I wanted to apologize – “

“I’m sorry, Cas, I was a total ass – “

There was silence again.

“You think _you_ were an ass?”

“What are you apologizing for?”

They both stopped again.

Then Castiel giggled.

The sound rushed through Dean like a warm breeze, and he laughed, loud and full.

Castiel joined him, and they laughed for a long time before falling silent again. This time, though, the silence felt good. Companionable. Safe.

Dean smiled, “We are a pair, huh?”

“It would appear so.”

“Would you like to have dinner with me tonight, Cas? Somewhere quiet, where we can talk.”

Castiel smiled back, “I would like that very much, Dean.”

**Author's Note:**

> I really feel like Cas would like Irish Cream.


End file.
